what i learned from a 16-week offseason.

At some point last year, the edge – where I usually thrive – started to feel a bit too sharp. It cut into my training and more often than I care to admit, the easy route (read: quitting) sounded was more appealing. The long runs where I stopped to pull it together so I didn’t just walk home. And the bike rides where I stopped mid-interval because it felt impossible, my mind totally unable to bear it for another second. 

Balancing on that edge is tricky. Too far in one direction and you fall off and lose yourself in a sea of this (triathlon) is the only thing that matters and the only thing that defines me. Too far the other way – bam! You’re complacent and totally ok with just getting by, or maybe even throwing in the towel. 

I’ve been on both sides of that edge – neither one’s great. Last year, I started to realize that triathlon wasn’t everything – and wow, was that eye-opening. And while it made for an uncomfortable-in-a-bad-way training block and a pretty shitty race at IRONMAN Canada, it also made me wake up and realize that while I absolutely do want to train and race at a high level – and will continue to (more on that in a minute) – I need to make white space for non-triathlon things. Like life. And house-to-home renovations. And spending time with Nick and Luma and my family and friends. And downtime not thinking about or doing triathlon-related things. 

Not gonna lie, the weeks following Canada were pretty tough. There were plenty of tears and what-ifs. I didn’t know what to do with myself and all my free time. But eventually, I stopped talking about triathlon and started talking about and doing normal people things (thank you, Nick, for putting up with me through all of that! I know I wasn’t easy to be around). 

A four-month offseason was exactly what I needed: a refreshing break that completely filled me up – one that taught me three important lessons.

one – letting go is OK.

Triathlon will always be there. And you know what? The other side – life that doesn’t revolve around all things swim bike run – is pretty awesome. I’m not just a triathlete. I’m also a girlfriend, dog momma, sister, auntie, daughter and friend who loves lazy morning coffee + reading, cruiser bike rides, sleeping, brunch, home renovation, pizza + green smoothies, and someone who still needs to figure out what she wants to be when she grows up. 

two – rest and recovery are f*cking awesome.

When you’re deep in the season and 17-hour training weeks, you don’t realize how exhausted you are. But when you step away? It hits you like a ton of bricks. Lesson learned: prioritize recovery – and maybe don’t do three 140.6s in 10 months. 

three – remembering my why.

I started triathlon because I didn’t fit in my skinny jeans anymore (thanks, CrossFit) and wanted to bike more. Because I wanted a new challenge. Because I wanted to see what I was capable of mentally and physically. But mostly because chasing my light was FUN. I lost that fun this past year or so. I got so caught up in power, paces and PRs – don’t get me wrong, it’s really good to pay attention to those things! – that I forgot that. Taking a healthy break allowed me to remember it.

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All that said, I’m in a much better place now than I was for most of last year. I’m finding my edge again and getting comfortable with the uncomfortable. And I’m so excited for this season – and to race IRONMAN Mont-Tremblant!